Crashing into Reality

I have been a part of this community for more than seven years and it and I are still alien to each in some respects. I really hate chapel here. There is no life in the worship most of the time - and if there is life, it is so alien that I cannot recognize it as such. Regular, if not frequent, attendance at these tortuous services is the price I pay, (one of them), for getting to do what I love in this same place.