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25 February 2010

The Jihad of Lent

I've forgotten how to fast, or at least that's how it feels in the jihad - holy struggle - that is my Lent.
My previous practices of self-denial have become so habitual that  they no longer seem worthy.
My new attempts are fledgling, flailing struggling, halting.
Have a holy lent.
Prayer. Check. More prayer. For a while.
Fasting. Trying. Successful. For now.
Introspection. Moments of clarity. In between and in-and-around the business of life.
Study. Yes. More. New. Different. Will it last?
Have a holy lent.
The big announcement - even if only to myself - this year I will do this, every day, every week, every month, for the whole season seems destined to failure.
Can one fail at Lent? Can one be too legalistic? Can one make an idol out of Lent?
Or are those excuses of a flesh that does not want to be denied.
Have a holy lent.

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