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02 December 2010

God-Wrestling: Bruised and Blessed

I will not let you go until you bless me!
Bless me dammit!
As we grapple, my breath quickens with exertion - 
I cannot, will not let go, let you go.
I will never have another chance like this.
I don't know if I really know who you are.
Tell me who you are!
But if you are who I think you are - if it's possible -
then I won't let go; I can't let go.
You might kill me.
I'll take that chance.
I need what only you can give, 
what I believe you can give.
I do believe.
I am wrestling with my own faith and the object of my faith and devotion.
And I will not let go.
You are crushing me, breaking me, tearing me - 
but I will not let go.
What is that I hear over my ragged breaths?
Did I hear those words? 
Did I imagine them?
Time will tell.
I will never forget this place, 
the place where God broke me.
I will carry these scars forever.

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