God-Wrestling: Bruised and Blessed

I will not let you go until you bless me!

Bless me dammit!

As we grapple, my breath quickens with exertion - 

I cannot, will not let go, let you go.

I will never have another chance like this.

I don't know if I really know who you are.

Tell me who you are!

But if you are who I think you are - if it's possible -

then I won't let go; I can't let go.

You might kill me.

I'll take that chance.

I need what only you can give, 
what I believe you can give.

I do believe.

I am wrestling with my own faith and the object of my faith and devotion.

And I will not let go.

You are crushing me, breaking me, tearing me - 

but I will not let go.

What is that I hear over my ragged breaths?

Did I hear those words? 
Did I imagine them?

Time will tell.

I will never forget this place, 
the place where God broke me.
I will carry these scars forever.