07 April 2011
As of today I have 26 pages of introduction, 99 pages of text, 9 pages of topics/subjects - I just got an idea, I'll list each subject as a cloud to shorten the table of contents, and a couple of pages of glossary. I am clearly no slacker. I have been at this full time since January plus three weeks last summer.
But it still feels like it is too big and much too much! I have never missed a publishing deadline, but this feels different. My last book was rather savagely edited by my dissertation editor so it was already vetted when I submitted it. I've written countless essays, articles and chapters - yet this feels different. I keep telling myself that this book is a collection of essays, articles and chapters. But I still feel overwhelmed at times.
The project is becoming something that I did not envision and I fear losing control. I like - I love - the project that I first envisioned. It has already gone through one major change which I received as refiner's fire. Is it - am I - flexible enough to endure more change? What if the book now writing itself is not the one I thought I was writing? (And not exactly the one I promised my publisher?)